Joy in Sorrow

Sad to say, having felt quite positive on Monday morning, things went downhill very quickly for our friend, suffering from Cv. His name is Paul. Later in the day, his wife was called to the hospital, and he eventually died in the early hours of Tuesday morning. I will write about Paul another time. Suffice to say, he was a well-known and much-loved person within our churches, and in the town community. His death strikes at our very heart, and the shock is palpable. There have now been over 40 deaths from Cv in Cumbria, and our area has one of the highest rates of infection in the country. The loss of Paul will have a significant impact upon our worship this weekend. Our hearts are with Paul's wife, and all who are grieving the loss of someone dear to them - especially as 'farewells' are so difficult at this time, and hugs, like many other things, are in short supply.

Sometimes, a bereaved person will talk about the guilt they feel if they experience joy or happiness while mourning a loved one. It's as if it's inappropriate when one should be feeling sad. Often this will happen particularly if a new relationship is beginning. Of course, it's completely normal to feel this way. We need to have a proper understanding of joy, and why it matters. It's not the same as pleasure!

One of the less edifying aspects of the present situation is the rank selfishness of some people, and the 'everyone for themselves' attitude.  Like the young farmer, who challenged someone walking through her field of sheep, with a dog off the lead. The farmer pointed out the risk to animals, and to farmers who might become infected through touching gates or stiles which others had touched. The 'visitor' said it was their right, and how dare she suggest otherwise (or words to that effect). Such an attitude cannot be condoned.

An opposite attitude might be summarised in something the wife of my old college principal said once: 'We're not here to enjoy ourselves, you know!' Somewhere between these two extremes lies the word delight. If we believe that God is a loving creator who 'richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment'  then humbly receiving life as a gift, and delighting in all God has made, is fundamental to what it means to be human. In the book of Proverbs, Wisdom is personified, and says I was constantly at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world, and delighting in the human rqce. (Proverbs 8.30-31)

You could even say that joy or delight is even more important in time of affliction such as now. Allowing ourselves moments of delight is one of many ways in which we stand against a prevailing mood of anxiety and apprehension. It's almost an act of protest, or defiance. But it must not turn into self-indulgence or escapism. Our mindset needs to be one of looking outwards and upwards: the mind of Christ.

Here is an extract from a poem which I have found helpful:

...we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine...
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not enjoyment. Not delight. We must have 
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world...

Jack Gilbert (1925-2012): 'A Brief for the Defense'